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Poetry Page
From:Nova Scotia
Lighthouses and laneways '04
with thanks to all :)
The latest addition:
When September with its shortened days
The call does come to tour Canada’s bays.
A group of twenty an Elderhostel do select
To discover Nova Scotia by bicycle we elect.
In Halifax the group assemble at the Quality Inn.
After greetings and intros, it is time to begin.
The first a museum of maritime disasters,
Then a climb to the citadel, we couldn’t go faster.
Sea food chowder at a pub is lunch
To be met by Allen we are a contented bunch.
Our day ends with tales of lighthouses along the coast,
A time rich in history of which Chris Mills could boast.
When morning arrives, we are fit to our bikes
Bringing to an end the rash of hikes.
Paul volunteers to be our first sweep,
As down the road our train must creep.
At the first turn Jim Melosh takes a nasty fall.
“I’ve broken my collar bone,” he cries out to all.
An ambulance trip to the e r confirms his diagnosis.
A two month healing is the prognosis.
Meanwhile the rest bike through wonderful vistas
Ending at Lawrencetown beach, a spot for “touristas.”
Before starting our dinner cruise with the Texas tour group,
A stop at the Titanic cemetery is planned for our troop.
On Sunday morning we bid Halifax adieu
And travel to Peggy’s Cove for a picture or two.
Our biking starts at 10:45 when Paul finds himself unable to breathe.
Must be checked out by medics before he can leave.
All is soon well and we resume our ride
Past a tribute to the fallen 111 Swissair Flight
And on to Lunenberg where we’ll spend the night.
Ralph conducts us through the town on a candlelight tour
Where “bumps,” Bluenose II and churches provide much allure.
From the motel to the museum is a short walk
Where we learn about fisheries from a brief talk.
Paul Alper gives us a scare when on the steps he slips;
No help is summoned for “I’m fit!” he does quip.
Oh, to our bicycles twelve easy miles before lunch.
Such a short distance, where is the crunch?
Then on to Mahone Bay to visit the sights
Before returning to Lunebuerg for our fifth night.
To depart by bicycle is the plan for day six
When another of our group finds herself in a fix.
With her chin Helen did lead, chipping a tooth.
“Who will be next,” we cry out, oh forsooth!”
Back on her bike without even a care,
She reaches the LaHave Ferry with fifteeen minutes to spare.
A short ride of only 12.6 miles is completed early that day
Before the rain could bring us further dismay.
In Liverpool our destination is the Lanes Privateer.
Where after dinner the Smith family play and sing songs so dear.
Wednesday day 7 our bikes we do leave
To allow our legs and butts a bit of reprieve.
The Kejim forest is quiet except for the birds.
We identify flora and fauna, but for many have no words.
Our day is complete with seafood true
As the sunset bathes the sky with multi hue.
Thursday, day 8, the longest one yet.
Thirty-seven point one is the final mark set.
Ice cream is the goal, but all have been spent.
So we head to the showers to remove the scent.
At dinner that night, a choice we could make,
And finish it off with a delicious cheesecake.
How can it be? October first and our last day has arrived.
What’s more, all 20 of us somehow survived!
Credit our leaders, John and D’Arcy with our success,
And Tibby and Lennie who lessened our stress.
You shared many a story and made us all laugh.
To you all we say thank you for a most memorable trip.
Suzanne
Landes with apologies to G. Chaucer•
With
apologies to Henry Wadsworth -
I'm
no poet - but I don't know it
My feet show it - they're Longfellows
Deep through the forest primeval
Pedaling against wind from the north
In the land of the
Each
day we sally*
forth *(ahem)
Clad
in sexy tight pants
Knobby knees
exposed
One more
Elderhostel
Another chapter
closed
Today
on Autumn's start we depart
For
a park called "Blow-Me-Down
(wasn't that it Mate?)
How we get there?
Have no fear!
As Sherlock said
to Watson* -
"Elementary my dear" *(Did
he mean
From
Never
a better group
At average age of
sixty nine
We've staged a
biking coup
Back
home
Our neighbors are
all a-wonder
Aging seniors on
bicycles
Pedaling across
the tundra?
They shake their
heads
And look askance
But we charge on
and forge ahead
Next year
- Le Tour de France!
Still stands the forest primeval
Maidens
in their Norman caps
and their
kirtles of homespun (this stanza excerpted from
By the
evening fire
repeat Longfellow's
Evangeline)
Evangeline's story
While from
its rocky caverns
The deep-voiced
neighboring ocean
Speaks and answers the
wail of the forest
We
leave it as we found it
This lovely, rather solemn land
Its tragic past lives in memories and
memorials
There is new-found reverence among us
For the souls and survivors of Acadie
A word of caution as we say so
long:
It's been a great ride
Don't let it unravel
If you look like your passport
You're too ill to travel
(Presented at Farewell
Dinner at Hall's Harbour Lobster Pound,
Evangeline II
(With apologies to Longfellow)
This is the forest
primeval
But where go the Americans who beneath it sped like the roe
when he hears in the woodland the voice of the huntsmen?
Nine times the sun has risen and set since the airplanes and ferries brought them to the
land of Acadie. But now will they again be scattered like dust and leaves when the mighty
blasts of October seize them and whirl them aloft.
Into this wonderful land far had they entered. They had seen the fruitful valley, the vast
meadows, the orchards, the oak and the hemlock, and the Queen Mary.
Day after day followed they their guides, the patient John and the industrious D'Arcy.
Merrily, merrily whirled the wheels of their dizzying bicycles.
First came Hans the speedy corner, then Joe the sailor. Mike of Tettegouche would stop,
but only to direct traffic, while Nancy M gently tended the fallen. John s and Paul A were
be4acons in their yellow shirts. Came they all in good cheer. Slipping saddles, sticky
gear shifts, sore wrists and fingers were naught to Helen, Wynette, Suzanne and Joyce.
High rose the red globe of the sun o'er the vast ocean as the small band toiled up many a
hill. "Where is lunch?" cried Anne and Paul. "Anon" spoke Jo of the
fumky nighty, just come from Newfoundland.
And then in the distant haze saw they the friendly natives of Acadie. Len and tibby
flitted from van to table, loading it high with the bounty of the land. Cucumbers and
salmon salad, lettuce (your choice of dressings), special Acadian chips with ketchup, and
butter cakes too.All gathered by the sturdy D'Arcy laboring through the hours of the
morning. "Good" murmured the Americans and they felt peace and contentment.
And so continued they for nine days. Then, up rose John the guide and said "Painful
is the task I do, and grievous to you, yet must I tell you to pack up all your belongings
and be ready at 9 AM to be transported to the airportto return south of the border."
So say we au revoir but not adieu, til the next time not farewell, as we turn our sad
faces away from this land of peace and forests toward the land of contention and Bushes.
Thus ends the tale of the 20 Americans in Acadie.
******************
This Trip Has Been Great
(Tune: This Land is Your Land)
Chorus:
This trip has been great
And now let's celebrate.
Each day has brought smiles
As we have biked miles.
But now we will say adieu
To every one of you.
so long, good-bye, and toodle-doo!
Verse 1
Oh, there is Mary Jane,
Lou, Kitty, Ken and Don,
Joe, Clare, and Barbara
Al, Peggy, Judy, John,
Dave, Chris, and Rosemary,
clark, Inez, and shirley.
You all are biking friends of ours.
Verse 2
Next, D'Arcy, Leo, Ray,
Jean, wally, and Inga
Phyllis and Frances
Watson and Rita,
Bernie and Donna,
Tibby and John Sigurjonsson.
You all are biking friends of ours!
**************
Top 10 Memorable Comments From The Tour
#10. what's that dollar
sign in the church stained glass window?
#9. Who's going to sit in the back seat this time?
#8. It must be really cold. John is wearing two shirts!
#7. watch your step Hon. Be careful Dear. watch your head.
#6.Did you hear about Don's Canadian goose?
#5.The white stuff on the rocks is Cormorant excrement. No it's not, it's bird shit!
#4. There is no bathroom. Use the green door.
#3. The hills are our friends!
#2. (whine) It's hot in the back. Turn on the air conditioner.
#1.Watson is our token Asian with norwegian blood.
******************
The Celtic Prayer for Cyclists
May all the hills go
down to greet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the rain fall only at night.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
And until we meet again
may God hold you in the palm of his hand.
*************
The Ride Cometh Before The Fall
Elderhostel had a tour
E I Ei O
and on that t6our we had some falls
EI Ei O
With a Jim's fall here,
and Paul's fall there -
Helen's fall, another Paul's fall-
everywhere a fall fall
Ow! Oh! Ow! Oh! Ow!
*******************
September Song
When September with its shortened days
The call does come to tour Canada’s bays.
A group of twenty an Elderhostel do select
To discover Nova Scotia by bicycle we elect.
In Halifax the group assemble at the Quality Inn.
After greetings and intros, it is time to begin.
The first a museum of maritime disasters,
Then a climb to the citadel, we couldn’t go faster.
Sea food chowder at a pub is lunch
To be met by Allen we are a contented bunch.
Our day ends with tales of lighthouses along the coast,
A time rich in history of which Chris Mills could boast.
When morning arrives, we are fit to our bikes
Bringing to an end the rash of hikes.
Paul volunteers to be our first sweep,
As down the road our train must creep.
At the first turn Jim Melosh takes a nasty fall.
“I’ve broken my collar bone,” he cries out to all.
An ambulance trip to the e r confirms his diagnosis.
A two month healing is the prognosis.
Meanwhile the rest bike through wonderful vistas
Ending at Lawrencetown beach, a spot for “touristas.”
Before starting our dinner cruise with the Texas tour group,
A stop at the Titanic cemetery is planned for our troop.
On Sunday morning we bid Halifax adieu
And travel to Peggy’s Cove for a picture or two.
Our biking starts at 10:45 when Paul finds himself unable to breathe.
Must be checked out by medics before he can leave.
All is soon well and we resume our ride
Past a tribute to the fallen 111 Swissair Flight
And on to Lunenberg where we’ll spend the night.
Ralph conducts us through the town on a candlelight tour
Where “bumps,” Bluenose II and churches provide much allure.
From the motel to the museum is a short walk
Where we learn about fisheries from a brief talk.
Paul Alper gives us a scare when on the steps he slips;
No help is summoned for “I’m fit!” he does quip.
Oh, to our bicycles twelve easy miles before lunch.
Such a short distance, where is the crunch?
Then on to Mahone Bay to visit the sights
Before returning to Lunebuerg for our fifth night.
To depart by bicycle is the plan for day six
When another of our group finds herself in a fix.
With her chin Helen did lead, chipping a tooth.
“Who will be next,” we cry out, oh forsooth!”
Back on her bike without even a care,
She reaches the LaHave Ferry with fifteeen minutes to spare.
A short ride of only 12.6 miles is completed early that day
Before the rain could bring us further dismay.
In Liverpool our destination is the Lanes Privateer.
Where after dinner the Smith family play and sing songs so dear.
Wednesday day 7 our bikes we do leave
To allow our legs and butts a bit of reprieve.
The Kejim forest is quiet except for the birds.
We identify flora and fauna, but for many have no words.
Our day is complete with seafood true
As the sunset bathes the sky with multi hue.
Thursday, day 8, the longest one yet.
Thirty-seven point one is the final mark set.
Ice cream is the goal, but all have been spent.
So we head to the showers to remove the scent.
At dinner that night, a choice we could make,
And finish it off with a delicious cheesecake.
How can it be? October first and our last day has arrived.
What’s more, all 20 of us somehow survived!
Credit our leaders, John and D’Arcy with our success,
And Tibby and Lennie who lessened our stress.
You shared many a story and made us all laugh.
To you all we say thank you for a most memorable trip.
Suzanne Landes with apologies to G. Chaucer•
Weather or Not
Whether the weather be
COLD
or
Whether the weather be HOT
We'll weather the weather
Whatever the weather
Whether we like it or NOT
Innocents Abroad
Here comes agroup from
the States
To see what adventure awaits.
The Canadians tremble
to see us assemble.
Someone left open the gates!
I thought I'd go down to
the sea
Which always seemed quite flat to me
But it's uphill and onward
More uphill not downward
Hope i get to the part that goes "whee"!
Nova Scotia is
beautiful, eh?
Hills, forts, lights, and a bay
Fish, coves and tides
Ships, scenic rides
and cute inns at the end of the day.
D'Arcy's a hard working
man
He'll help out whenever he can
He cooks, rides, and hikes,
Hauls up the bikes
And always shows up with the van.
We'll Meet again
Each bikeride starts anew
The fun of friendships true
The joys we've had in knowing you
Will last a whole life through
But as thge days jusr
fade away
We'll wish that we might stay
But since we can't all have our way
We'll meet again some other day.
From Old Halifax
From old Halifax our noble band did ride
From 12 states in all , America's pride.
Between John, D'Arcy, Irwin and Len
We were led and fed and sometimes misled
But usually guided with a sole steady hand.
John's booming laugh heard far and wide
Kept us pedaling on our longer rides.
There goes Richard, leading the pack
All I ever see is his back .
Gail's red vest gave us all cheer
Especially for those of us back in the rear.
Our loyal corners, our good sweeps
for errant riders watch and keep.
At my back I could often hear
Sweep's winged chariot drawing near.
Gray haired were some, with many years
we conquered those hills with little fears.
the weather sublime, the food a real treat-
those tiny brownies really neat.
Our wits were tested with sailing lore
Tales of hardy men in days of yore.
Lots of interesting facts and what was best:
In all of this learning there were no tests!
What friends we made, what fun we had!
To leave all this makes me really sad :(
Goodbye Nova Scotia I say with a tear.
I'll remember you dearly for many a year!
We Went Riding Along
We went riding along
Each of us singing our own song
Nova Scotia's charm
kept us riding by the farms.
All our lkectures kept our brains cruising
even though sxome of us did some snoozing.
Field trips were a delight
Everything gave us an appetite.
The food was first rate.
Thank you John zand D'Arcy
You were great.
The Outstanding Bunch
What an outstanding bunch we are,
With John and D'Arcy our leading stars.
bikers from thirteen states
Exploring Nova Scotia was top rate.
the New Yorkers by most numbers indeed
Canada's Routes To Learning lead.
From California, Oregon, and Hawaii they came.
Colorado, Texas, Wisconsin brought more of the same.
Then w ith Indiana, and North Dakota too,
came Maryland, New hampshire, and Colorado into the brew.
So - for alan and Ellen, ralph and Rich, Ruth and Rog
Gail and George, Johanna and Jim, Barb, Bob and Barb,
Trudy and Tom, Lin and Linda, annette and Ed, Marcia and Nancy
and Herb and Katy, we say farewell;
And to Nancy and Joe, we say good luck, God speed,
and get well.
2003 Epistles
To the
Guides
There
was a young man named Mark
Who followed us through the park.
He was always there
With water and air
And pedaled with Jim until dark.
Kevin
is quick of wit and strong of paddle
Equally comfortable while in the bike saddle.
He eats with gusto his hamburger and fries
And amazes his daughter when farting butterflies.
To bicycle to
On
Tho his seat gives him very sore b---ls
Even when taking cell phone calls.
Peter
gave an amazing demonstration of dedication
Through preparation and organization
Wonderful explanation of information
And even emergency medication.
His skills can be summed up in one word: “Multiprestidigitation”
Ode To The Sweeps
(To the tune of “Old McDonald Had a
Farm”)
Elderhostel
had a tour
E I E I o
And on that tour they had some sweeps
E I E I O
Tom a sweep, Art a sweep, Ray a sweep, Jim a sweep, Marv a sweep, Bob a sweep;
Here a sweep, there a sweep. Everywhere a sweep sweep.
Elderhostel had a tour
E I E I O
******************************
The Riding Song
(To the tune of “The Caissons go Rolling Along”)
Over
hill, over dale
We will hit the biking trail
As our big bikes go rolling along!
Up
and down
Through the town
By the lake and past the swans
As our big bikes go rolling along!
For
it’s time to eat
As we wait to see our sweep,
Call out directions loud and strong (Yo! Yo!)
For
our leaders are great
That we appreciate
Biking friends are the best you can have!
Biking
friends are the best you can have!
Yeh! Yeh! Yeh!
**********************************
On
September 9
The weather was fine
We had lunch.
The entire bunch.
But following lunch the group got thin
When we were to continue our spin.
Kathy, Ken, Marvin and I set off with Mark.
Fortunately we got back before it was dark.
Mark and I were de4finitely OK.
We had just finished 75K!
***************************************
I Once Had A Trike
I
once had a trike
And now have a bike.
I traded a wheel
For charm and appeal.
The wind in my face
The sun at my back
For the love of
I soon cycle back.
*********************************
Roses
are red.
Violets are blue.
If she can make that hill
I can too!
*********************************
My New Bike
On
the first day of biking
The bar was too high.
It went way past my thigh.
Early the next morning
I raced “out and about”.
Because of a new mountain bike
I had reason to shout!
I might be inclined to negotiate a deal
If the price is right,
Nearly a steal.
******************************
The Hurricanhe Isobel Blues
Don't
know why
There's no sun up in the sky
Stormy weather
Since me and Isobel joined together
It's raining aaall the tiiiime.
***********************
Rap tothe Ride
We
came to Canada
to do a bike ride;
to see some theatre
and drink fine wine
An
opportunity to learn
and make new friends
we had great fun
and now this is the end
*************************
We'll Be Back
We
came to enjoy a vacation
In our dear neighbouring nation
Enjoy we most assuredly did
In every dinery and winery.
Even though you assigned this homework chore
That made it more work than staying in old Baltimore.
We learned about Toronto, Stratford, and the Lake
Took in all the education we could possibly take.
Pumped our bikes, enjoyed the sun
More than the rain.
Learned that we could occasionally be wimps and smile
While the youngsters and the jocks rode the extra miles.
We go home with fond memories and lack of fear
That we'll be back to enjoy it another year.
************************************
Catharsis
(an epic poem incorporating all program participants names)
Can
you Peg the personality of each Elderhostel guest,
With a single glance?
Having lived for a fortnight in the dark green trailer
among its spare tire, car Jack and Paultry supply of
Russty, Bent pedal screws-
Can you tell me what kind of life guest X has lived?
Lizzen,
can you Don special x-Ray glasses
or magic long-Johns
to summarize each guest?
can you quickly extract a lifetime of adventure,
hilLarrity, and memory with Debit carde efficiency?
Do their lives unravel with Cathartic ease?
Is
each guest an archetype of theatre?
Can you Peg them or Mark them?
Is there a Darren person among them - a dare devil?-
Who would Bob and Bob in the froth of Niagara Falls,
before going over in a barrel?
Are thereb bikers of Clydesdale power among them?
Shifting from Lois to High Hess gear,
Ruthlessly pedalling into youth?
The
question is ridiculous.
Dinner by dinner they paint their lives
In realistic shades of youthful words.
In a single glance you can read their Elderhostel name tags,
nothing more.
*******************************
On Riding at the Back of the Pack
It's
seven Oclock in the morning
and I( have to get outb of bed.
Breakfast will be served at this hotel
and I've already paid for my bread.
I
don't know if it's rainy or sunny
but I have to climb up on my bike.
Chasing our leader for miles,
I can't let out of my sight.
There'sd
people here from California,
They always ride in a pack.
I don't even know whatn they look like.
All I ever see is their back.
The
trest of the people are friendly,
they smile as they fly by.
I think the reason they're smiling
is that riding a bike gets them high.
When
I getn back to Florida,
I'll remember all my new friends.
I'll continue to work on my biking
So that next time I won't ride at the end.
********************************
ONTARIO THEATRE BY
BICYCLE
It was a wonderful
September
A biking trip we will all remember
From
Led us on this biking lark
Our spirits and enjoyment they did raise
Things are a buzzin
In the land of our northern cousin
The great city of
It has it all – cinema, theatre, and art
We saw the city on
our bikes
It satisfied all our likes
A very rich man’s former homa
Done by people with smiling faces
The races were a festive treat
In
They performed like they were more than enabled
From a lecturer who was a leading light
Those religions
believe in Anabaptism
Many primitive things, and pacifism
But their gentle ways can be seductive
Shunning is a cruel
streak
They use to keep in line the very meek
We next visited
He brought
Because of it, the area does thrive
We praised the performance to the sky
Their plays were presented plus more
And saw the region’s fineries
Our trip’s ending we will grieve
Copyright
**********************************
An Afterword
Canadian Trails
biking
Makes the ladies more exciting
As we biked around
The men no longer needed Viagra
Copyright 2003
*******************************
Theatre By Bike
With hats like
miners and goggles galore
Off we took on bicycles to explore
The Canadian theatre and miles of trails.
Our fearless
leaders Peter, Graham,Ardelle too
Kept the line going up hills and dales.
The wind was so fierce, the ngravel so rocky,
The trucks made you quiver as they roared by so cocky.
Rain was a factor,
but never a pain.
We pealed on for ghreater gain.
Martinis, wine and other choices
Were always waiting at the bar of loud voices.
What a trip, what a
group of congenial folks.
Thanks for the fun and always the proverbial jokes.
***********************
From Sally, Jane and Ed
The brochure said
bike by day, enjoy theatre each night;
See the very best of Canada, a spectacular sight.
Our guides for the week, Graham, Peter and Ardelle ,
Who taught us 'bout our bikes, even ringing the bell!
A few "slight
undulations", Graham said of the hills,
Which required both deraileurs at "one", plus energy pills.
Works of art were
those picnic lunches - our favorite grub,
Rewards for those howling winds, steep climbs, gravel and mud.
Each trip included
a sweep0, corners, and Sally ahead of the pack,
with Jane's runny nose, plus a cough and a hack!
For which Graham bought Buckley's ---'tis better than booze,
It manages both cough and the thick nasal ooze!
And let's
see4...just before dinner, a martini was Ed's favorite drink.
Extra vermouth, straight up and olives, he'd say with a wink.
Gigi was great, but
what about those Three Sisters?
Coulda kicked that one "Owoot" with atoe full of blisters!
Oue dessert is all
of you, each a new friend!
As for this poem, it's now at THE END!!!
***********************
We Ain't Going To
Bike No More
(To the tune of "Ain't Gonna Rin No More")
Chorus:
Oh we ain't gonna bike no more, no more.
We ain't gonna bike no more.
Cry you might or put up a fight,
But we ain't gonna bike no more!
Oh, there goes Sue
- zoomin' on thru,
And Margaret's not far back;
Earl's up front with the Blueberry Grunt
And Jim'll cut no slack.
Repeat Chorus
Who's that with the
broom?
It's Carol I assume.
She'll sweep up Rich and Pete.
Anita's stopped for a photo op
And Charlie's got fast feet.
Repeat Chorus
Yippee! It's lunch,
By the jolly bunch,
a gourmet treat divine!
Let's hear it for D'Arcy, Fran, and Can --
A toast before you dine.
Repeat Chorus
Slow down - wait.
Mary Anne's not late.
She's looking for the tides.
Len's coming up thbe hill
Like a Whiporwill.
See how fast he rides!
Repeat Chorus
Who's that that
passed?
She's movin' fast!
A red streak's all I see.
By gosh, it's Pat!
She's a real cool cat.
And Bob's here to agree.
Repeat Chorus
On their honeymoon
They sit and spoon
And pedal with a kiss.
If you can't guess who,
Then boo on you -
And YEAH for marriede bliss.
Repeat Chorus
A road less
travelled turned out to be
The path for Chris and Ed.
"Are we having fun?"
Said Can, on the run.
It's true, that's what she said.
Final chorus
***********************
The Old Biker's
Tail
by The Barnyard Bard
We went for a ride
and our shorts are tight.
They're well padded and they fit just right.
Chorus
Tum-a-ti-yi-yippee yippee yeah yippee yeah
Tum-a-ti-yi-yippee yippee yeah.
We dismount lightly
on our toes;
And not over handlebars on our nose.
We coast down
quickly and you can bet
We'll have to walk up another hill yet.
If it starts
raining as hard as it can,
You'll find Candace left with the goddamn van.
When D'Arcy stops and lays out a spread,
A look at the riders and you know they're overfed.
Francine picks
records, now I've been told,
Are the ones that remind us we're all too old.
Sea food we've
eaten and sea food we've known,
But the ones that scare me have been scraped from stone.
Some want a road
bike and others want speed
But I'll pick athe white van as my steed.
Nova Scotia is a
great place to go,
But we don't want to be here in the driving snow.
There are parks and
graveyards and a tidal bore,
But this is all and there ain't no more!
*The authors of these poems (except Arthur) wish to remain anonymous. Probably a good idea :)